As I turn the heater up for the fifth time today, I can't help but get frustrated. For the past four months, I have been bundled up every second of every day, shivering and cursing due to the freezing weather just outside my windows. We get it, it's winter.
But if we're being honest? I'm absolutely over this whole "cold weather" business. And it turns out I'm not alone.
If laying down in a cave in the middle of the wilderness and sleeping as a literal blizzard passes you by is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
If you have to deal with ice and snow you might as well have fun with it. And by "fun," I mean use fire to feel like a superhero and totally destroy the winter.
It's hard enough to drag yourself out of your home to go to work. Just imagine having to put on skis and literally exercise in the cold to do it.
I mean, come on. Imagine working all day on the most magnificent snowman, only to have it crash and fall right as you're posing with your masterpiece.
I mean, talk about the perfect excuse to just curl up in bed, watch a whole bunch of Netflix, and count down the moments until spring finally arrives.
The only thing worse than going to work is crawling through ice to get to work.
If anyone was ever ready for winter to be over, it's the guy whose family forces him to wear a red nose and pose as a deer for a Christmas card.
There's truly nothing like a cold, angry, hungry cat tracking water, snow, and mud all over your hardwood floors.
What will it take for you to leave us alone, snow? We're calling "uncle" okay?! UNCLE!
If you thought having messy counters or dirty dishes was a drag, imagine trying to clean up a giant ice waterfall that's just existing in the middle of your home.
What's worse than being late to work? Trying to be on time to work but having to literally dig your car out to get there and still being late.
I mean, at first, all they talked about was how winter was coming. Now they talk about winter being here. They must be totally pumped for spring.
Ah, yes. Another case of winter. I'm going to guess that it's gonna be cool. Real cold. Like, painfully, horribly, insanely cold.
So, what does this mean? That they just have to sit inside, watching Netflix and eating snacks? Wait. That actually doesn't sound so bad.
We get it. You're cold, just like our hearts, but come on. Cut us some slack here!
Bring on the sunshine, the pool parties, and the tropical punch. All that's missing is my summer body and I'll be set!
