Sometimes it's nice to just get what you came for. It makes things easy, and you get to just do your thing and move on with your life.
But sometimes the real fun is having your expectations turned upside down. And sometimes that takes the form of weird pictures that don't look like anything you expect.
See where I'm going with this? What I'm saying is that I'm going to take you on an Unexpected Journey, if you will.
Or if they do, they have very little regard for their own health and well-being.
Not gonna lie, I'd probably try to charge my book if I got this. I'd know it wasn't going to do anything, but I just feel really compelled to try and address this issue.
I'd also probably have said, "Please don't DM me anymore, I don't know you and this is inappropriate."
This is the official scent of opening a birthday present that you didn't really want, and you're not about ready to let that slide.
Actually, this is pretty cool, but I've been conditioned to try to be as cynical as possible toward everything.
Like, honey, I know that you're doing your very best here, but that's really not how braille works.
Seriously, that adult goat looks like it's been through like three divorces and is ready to tell you about why love is a lie.
But believe you me, if you find someone who makes your heart do that, you either marry that person or visit a cardiologist immediately.
On the one hand, I want to be impressed. On the other hand, it's reminding me about that James Bond movie, Die Another Day, and my day was going a lot better before I remembered it existed.
I know I told you not to DM me, but if you think I'm great, it's okay to do it.
I think the real trick is going to be finding a hoodie that she didn't already steal from you in the first place.
I can't even tolerate someone putting pickle seasoning on their popcorn in the same theater as me. There's no way that I'm going to tolerate this kind of nonsense.
I really really want to believe that this isn't a staged photo. So stay quiet, okay?
Basically, their house is just a roving carpet of kittens. That may sound adorable, but trust me — the litter box situation is unacceptable.
Like, this isn't just a solution for their tailgate falling off, right? Someone please help me with this.
The times, they are a changing, and we are truly in the era of the booty.
