I normally don't try to be a judgmental person, but...Okay, sorry, I almost got through that without laughing. If I'm being totally honest, I think we all know the guilty pleasure of judging someone for falling short of our expectations of decorum.
We all do it, but if you don't want to feel weird about it, just blame me.
Then again, I've seen two or three pictures like this floating around recently, so maybe it's a hot new trend that I'm just not hip enough to be in on.
Listen, if we didn't want people to laugh at farts, maybe farts should stop sounding so hilarious.
I'd say that I was done with eggs for good, but that'd just be a lie. Also, can we appreciate how much candy this person seems to have in their fridge?
I mean, if he's trying to get my attention while panhandling, it worked, but the last thing I want to do is encourage him to keep doing this.
On the other hand, everybody can see you. But hey, you didn't spend all that time on your body for people to not notice.
Even if I had the ability to do this, I'd have to build up a whole lot of confidence in my skills before I was willing to piss-bend anything past my face.
I'd look further into this story, but I'm sure it's not going to be as good as I'm imagining it.
Also, let's not pretend it's the Ouija board that haunts the place. If your Subway has ghosts in it, that's on you.
If that person wants to talk kinky about toilets, you'd better be ready to get filthy.
How does somebody even find out that they're capable of doing this? That's what I wanna know.
Second of all, what happens in my bedroom is between me, my wife, and the guys who are "just friends," who I sometimes see leaving when I come home from work.
It's a good thing the funeral parlor installed that hitching post so that caskets and people on horseback have a place to park.
I wish I was in the room when they came up with this idea. Like "Okay, guys, wait. What if we did jeans...but backwards?"
Sure, it looks terrible, but at least I'm right, and that's way more important than aesthetics.
Actually, it's really just the one that's the showboat. The other one seems embarrassed. I recognize that look from everybody who's ever been around me.
I tried to do this once, and I made a terrible mess. So I guess I'm landing on "less classy."
That being said, if you find someone who makes your heart do that, you lock them down immediately. That's a kind of thing that only comes along once in a lifetime.
But us men, we know this. And we know that it's just easier to go along with it.
I know that every exceptionally romantic encounter I've ever had has included a pillow with a flamingo pattern on it and descriptions of anatomy.
But the important thing is to let the world know that you're ready to meet someone new. And if you can't do that with pink paint on your truck, how can you do it?
I'm also all about this aesthetic. The pale blue jeans, the socks and sandals, the not caring what anybody thinks. There's no way that this person isn't a dad.
Also, folks. It's also unclassy to take pictures of people in bathrooms. Just sayin'.
I'm not about to tell someone their motto isn't good. I also hope they don't end up ironically choking on toes.
Airing your dirty laundry in public, selling your wife's stuff, and most upsetting of all, having a sign that is easy to misread, making me think that he's selling his wife.
