Facebook | Kara Coley

This Bartender Had The Perfect Response For A Mother Looking To Understand Her Gay Son

mason.zimmer 28 Feb 2019

Even though LGBTQIA+ representation and understanding is growing more common, it can still be hard to find help when you don't know where to look.

And it's not just those coming out that need help sometimes. Many parents grew up in a time where such things were still frowned upon and they didn't have the opportunity to learn in an open and understanding manner.

Kara Coley is a bartender at SIPPS, a bar in Gulfport, MS.

Facebook | Kara Coley

Though not strictly a gay bar, SIPPS has a large gay community that frequents it.

They even have a Drag Bingo night, which sounds like a blast!

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It was a pretty typical Friday night behind the bar when Kara answered the business phone.

Facebook | Kara Coley

It was the first time she'd ever received such a call in her 17 years of bartending.

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After her greeting, an unknown woman on the end of the line asked her if SIPPS was a "gay bar."

Facebook | Kara Coley

Kara explained, "Well, we are an everybody bar but yes, mostly gay."

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That seemed to be good enough for the mysterious caller. 

Facebook | Kara Coley

"Can I ask you a question?" the unknown woman continued, and Kara said that she could.

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"What was the one thing you wanted from your parents when you came out?" the woman asked. 

Facebook | Kara Coley

At first, Kara didn't know how to respond to the question and managed only an "Umm" before the woman clarified.

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"My son just came out to me and I don't want to say anything that may mess him up in the head."

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The woman was a confused mother who was afraid to say the wrong thing.

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Kara began to tell the woman to love and accept him, but paused to confirm that the mother did accept it. 

Facebook | Kara Coley

The mother said that yes, if that's what he wanted, then she accepted it.

So Kara gave her the simplest, best advice ever:

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The woman thanked Kara and hung up, but when Kara posted about the exchange on Facebook, it exploded.

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Within hours, the post went viral, being liked and shared by thousands.

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Some parents seem to know ahead of time that their child might be gay.

Imgur | Gingeraffes

Of course, it's up to each kid to figure out who they are and decide when they want the world to know. It's a highly personal thing.

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Some will find creative ways to come out to their parents to make it a little easier.

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We all know it's hard to reject a cupcake!

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You do still hear horror stories about parents who won't accept who their kids are.

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And it's heartbreaking. No wonder it's such a stressful event. No wonder kids will bake cupcakes to break the news.

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But even for parents who suspect they know what's coming, or for those who don't know what to say, there are resources available beyond calling a local bartender.

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Not that it turned out to be a bad idea!

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Plenty of parents have been there before. 

Reddit | Endless_Vanity

It's not like homosexuality is a new phenomenon. And the internet has some great communities and personalities out there who have walked this road before.

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In the end, gay kids are kids, looking for the same thing from their folks as any other child: Love and understanding.

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They just have a bit of a different experience.

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Hey, some coming-out stories become the sort of thing families can look back on and laugh about later.

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It doesn't have to be all stress.

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And, of course, it has to be a comfort to know there are wonderful people like Kara out there, willing to listen and take the time to give the best answers they can from their own experience.

Facebook | Kara Coley
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