Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

Woman Posts 'Ball In The Box' Analogy Her Doctor Taught Her To Handle Grief

Pretty much everybody has to deal with the grief of losing a loved one at some point. It's a cruel component of the human experience, because the feeling is so all-encompassing that it can feel impossible to shake. While there's no cure for grief, one woman's thoughtful analogy is helping people conceptualize it in a novel way.

How do we deal with grief?

Unsplash | Ben White

For many people, the experience is similar: a period of intense mourning, with strong feelings dissipating over time. They never go away completely, though — and grief can strike unexpectedly, even years later.

This is Lauren Herschel.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

A Canadian who's into coffee, wine and kindness (as per her Twitter bio), Lauren recently shared this pic with her adorably awkward dog. But it's a tweet thread from awhile back that has people rethinking grief.

She begins by describing her own experiences.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

In the Twitter thread, Lauren shares some backstory along with an image conceptualizing how grief occupies the brain — and, most crucially, how it can be triggered by seemingly random things.

Let's break it down.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

In an interview with a local radio station, Lauren said, "It shows you don't have to be an artist in order to convey something with pictures." I think the drawing conveys things perfectly.

This feels right.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

That big ball is all-encompassing in the early days of grieving, and it's hitting the grief button so often that it never really feels like anything else is on your mind.

It's random.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

Grief becomes easier to control with time, but it's unrealistic to think that you'll ever truly stop grieving someone you loved.

Lauren says her family doctor helped her to conceptualize things this way a few weeks after her mom passed away.

Unsplash | Mayron Oliveira

In the wake of such a profound loss, even the simplest things can end up not making much sense. There is no simple way to explain grief, but there are easier ways to describe the process of what it feels like to lose a loved one.

It's a bitter pill to swallow.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

"I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed with everything, as you do when you lose an important person in your life," Lauren said, echoing a familiar sentiment for anyone who's lost a loved one.

This concept can help others.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

Lauren said that her doctor got this advice from a close friend after losing her mother at a young age. Now, in turn, she's passing the advice along to the Twitter masses.

It's a profound way to look at things.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

Clearly it struck a chord with people on Twitter. Grief is a nearly universal emotion, one that can sometimes feel insurmountable. Just talking about it with other people can be a huge help.

The pain button is always there.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

"You can be twenty years down the road from losing somebody and you hear a song or you smell a smell, and it comes back with the same intensity," said Lauren.

It gets easier with time.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

As time passes, "The ball is smaller," explained Lauren. But sometimes, something can come up and those feelings instantly come back.

"Hit that button that's triggered all of those feelings stirring up again."

Unsplash | Mike Labrum

Though our first instinct when we've lost someone may be to isolate ourselves, it is important that we find ways to reach out and connect to others who share our pain.

We're social creatures.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

Whether it's finding a new way to visualize things, or simply commiserating with your fellow humans, genuine, empathetic conversation is always good for the spirit and the soul.

There are all sorts of ways to deal with grief.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

For some, filling the void with busyness is a way to delay the emotional outpouring. But it's impossible to distract yourself forever, and the grief has a way of hitting hard.

Wounds heal, but they don't disappear.

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

"It's okay to feel this way," Lauren explains. "The moment will pass. It does get better." said Lauren.

"But it isn't something that you need to just get over because it's been two weeks, two years, ten years, twenty years."

Unsplash | Kerri Shaver

Healing is not a linear process, and 'getting over' something so monumental looks different for each and every person.

How do you cope?

Twitter | @LaurenHerschel

How have you dealt with grief in your life? What's helped, and what did you wish you'd known at the time? Let's talk about this all-important human emotion!