16+ Hilarious Tweets From Women To Distract You From All Your Responsibilities

Same goes for all those Tupperware bottoms that disappear and leave us with a cupboard full of lids. I hope you all find what you're looking for in this world.

I've been out of college long enough that it definitely raises some eyebrows when people find out I still live with students.

But you try paying for a one bedroom in this economy. It's just not possible, sis.

And what are you wearing on bottom? Leggings. Always leggings. And don't worry, you don't have to change those. Leggings are universal.

Of course, then that mug runs empty and you find yourself suddenly being thrown back into the unfortunate reality that is your life.

But that's what that second cup is for!

I recently re watched all of Boy Meets World on Disney + and I have to say, Topanga was honestly way too good for Cory.

Her hair? Phenomenal. Her brain? Outstanding. Her boyfriend? Often misogynistic, buffoonish, and let's not forget that one time he kissed another girl and then actually went out with her because he wasn't sure of his feelings for Topanga.

The "sleeping" pajamas are the lightest so you don't get too hot in the middle of the night; the "sexy" pajamas are those expensive satin ones you only break out when you're really trying to impress someone; and the "grocery store" ones are the comfiest of the bunch, and probably have some sort of Christmas pattern on them.

This is exactly what happened while I was deciding between watching the new Cheer documentary or another episode of Sugar Rush, and Netflix started playing the trailer for Don't F*ck With Cats.

Suffice it to say, I now decide what I'm going to watch before I go to the Netflix homepage.

If you have the time, check out the comments to see all the insulted men trying to defend their honor because it only adds to the experience of reading this excellent tweet.

I once read an article that said all women are capable of having a great bang experience, it's just about finding the right bangs for them.

But I'd love to see their research because I've tried every kind of bang there is and I still haven't found my glass slipper of bangs.

If you get up there to sing a rousing rendition of "American Pie", you better be prepared to spend the rest of your evening suffering through that 8 and a half minute song and losing audience participation at around the third chorus.

Look, it's been nearly 20 years since every girl you knew wore these and you had to beg your mom to buy you a pair. I say it's time we brought these back into fashion.

I'm ready to live my best life again.

Someone once convinced me they were Eddie from the show That's So Raven and I spent an entire week of my life thinking I was pen pals with a Disney Channel star.

We all got played on Neopets.

I've never been so open with a person as I was the night I called at Uber at like, 3 in the morning and spent the entire ride back to my apartment telling the driver about my crippling fear of motherhood.

We truly bonded during that seven minute ride and that's why Wayne got five stars.

This has the same energy as the moment when a McDonald's employee loudly announces your order to the entire restaurant and you have to walk over to the counter to claim your bag of five single hash browns.

I don't think it's unreasonable for us to read between the lines when guys almost never say what they really mean. Excuse us for trying to decipher all your emotional riddles.

At some point, you realize that your "jams" are no longer everyone's jams. One day, your favorite songs are reduced to being played over the speakers at your local grocery store so you can sing "MMMBop" under your breath while you shop for deli meat.

I also have a serious problem controlling my RBF and sometimes catch myself grimacing at people for absolutely no reason. Like, I am so sorry, you definitely did not deserve the heat of that stare.

I also had a bad habit of circling all the super cool new gadgets I wanted too, which is how I once ended up with a plastic flip phone that supposedly could eavesdrop in on people's conversations but only ever amounted to me wearing headphones while holding a fake cell phone in fourth grade.

I like to keep things interesting. Never let your body know what's going to happen next. Will I go to bed at 3 AM tonight or 8 PM? Who knows?

The fridge is full of ingredients, not food. And I want chicken nuggets.

The airport just exists in its own little apocalyptic-style realm, where some people aren't even 100% sure what country they're in, and no one is ever dressed for the weather of that particular place.

But if I had to pick one, I'd say "So cute!" because you gotta stand by your own molars and be damn proud, sis.

Okay, but hear me out. If they didn't want their pictures taken, they why they always be sleeping in such photogenic poses?

Riddle me that!

I once got into an Uber and watched the driver scroll through his little Spotify playlists until he found the perfect one for little ol' me: "Basic White Teenage Girl".

When I was a kid, they were stocked in the family fridge for chugging after some sort of sports game. As an adult, I keep a mostly-empty case underneath my bed for those mornings when everything hurts and my tongue is fuzzy.

That's called growing up.

And if you just raised your hand to tell us a story that vaguely relates to the topic of the meeting, I promise I will never send you a "happy birthday" message on Facebook ever again because you are now my damn enemy.

One time I made an entire box of those variety hors d'oeuvres from the grocery store and left it in the oven to keep warm before my guests arrived.

Long story short, breakfast the next morning was a heaping plate of mozzarella sticks, sausage rolls, and jalapeno poppers. Honestly? Not a terrible way to start the work day.

I never thought that one day I'd be on the other end of some trend feeling like a damn boomer but here we are.

Nothing triggers me more than when I hear that alarm on TV or in a YouTube video and my heart starts pounding because I instinctively think I've overslept and I'm about to be late for work.

My favorite part of playing this role is when my boyfriend asks me to do something and I can shout, "Yes, chef!"

I haven't seen my own figure in a while and I'm actually O.K. with that.

Sometimes I get this even without the tampon and I'm convinced I'm having some sort of delayed TS symptom.

That girl gave up precious sleep for some boy and I wish she knew better because no man is worth losing sleep over in any capacity.

I get the same feeling after I spend a few minutes on the treadmill. Look out world, fitness queen coming through.

One time I spilled my coffee on the bus ride to work and seriously considered just calling it a day and going home again.

I had to pause the show and go on IMDB to confirm that a) it was not Hilary and b) it also wasn't some other Duff sister I don't know about.

My family never let dessert be a thing in our house, so imagine my damn delight when I found out my boyfriend's mom insists on having dessert after every meal.

I know where I'm eating every night.

Look, it was a nice gesture. But I think we can all agree that "Yummy" missed whatever mark it was aiming for, and as both his wife and the inspiration, it's up to Hailey to break the news to JB.

Sometimes I go to the gym just to sit in the massage chairs and drink a smoothie. But I still expect results. This is a gym, after all.