Being a girl is tough for a million societal and biological reasons that only we will ever truly understand. But the one thing that never gets any easier, no matter how many times we get it, is our period.
For one week, monthly, we're PMS-ing, emotional, bloated, riddled with acne. Then for another week we're bleeding, still emotional, bloated, and acne-ridden. Then comes another week of potential spotting, and de-bloating. That means every month we only feel normal for one week.
One. Week.
I'm sorry for anyone that was victimized by my unjustified rage. I, however, cannot promise it won't happen again.
At least we can be grumpy, miserable, and bloated together.
It isn't over until it says it's over.
There's no limit to how many ibuprofen I take once my cramps kick in. I don't care.
Don't expect me to show up for work, or any other obligations. It's my week to purge all of my demos!
Tampon commercials make it look like we're out here playing tennis, swimming, and prancing around on our periods. But this is what we actually look like.
This is me planning my maternity shoot if my period doesn't show up on the exact same day as it did last month.
Why is it that sometimes it feels like we're leaking, but then when we check, there's nothing there? But when we think we're in the clear, we're confidently walking around, trailing blood everywhere we go, not noticing at all?
But as soon as PMS kicks in, all that is over.
No sneezing or big-laughing allowed on your period unless you want to burst out with blood, like a shaken champagne bottle.
Don't take it too personally, I feel hatred towards everyone on my period.
When it's period time, just leave me alone. I'm bloated and ugly we just need to wait for it to pass.
But now I do, and I respect her more for it.
If you're looking for a fight, say anything to any girl on her period.
This isn't an exaggeration. You've been warned.
Menstrual moodiness is completely uncontrollable. I don't know what makes me happy, I only know that everything makes me angry, or ugly-cry.
If human rights didn't exist, I ought to be locked up in a straitjacket for the way my period has me feeling.
It would at least stop me from making emotional, irrational decisions like I normally do around that time of the month.
Day two is the day you're going to either want to steer clear of me. If you don't, it's at your own risk, and you better bring chocolate.
Can I trade for a cooler superpower, like invisibility or super-strength? Thanks.
Otherwise, it would feel a little something like this.
I'm not hiding tampons in my sleeve anymore. It's bad enough we have to deal with this crap every month, at the very least we shouldn't have to feel ashamed about it.
Last month, I cried listening to the Tarzan soundtrack. Enough said.
Just when you think it's over, it comes back with a vengeance.
But instead, we're at its mercy.
